Anecdotally, there are many stories online about husbands playing so much golf that it impacts their relationship with their spouses. So how do you know when too much of a good thing is bad?
If you are golfing every day or nearly every day and spending hours each day on the course, it might be too much for your marriage. Negotiate with your spouse a reasonable amount of golf time. You shouldn’t have to give up golf entirely, so work out a solution that fits you both.
Although having a hobby you love is healthy for you, if you’re spending so much time participating in your pastime (such as playing golf), it can ultimately negatively impact your relationships. Read on to learn when too much is too much!
Time Spent Golfing and Your Marriage
Golf is a fun hobby that can help us take our minds from our troubles and daily stresses (whether work-related or personal stress). Playing sports like golf is a fantastic way to keep active, fit, happy, and socially engage with others who share your passion.
However, it can also become a very time-consuming pastime. Sometimes, we may fall into patterns where we end up almost “addicted” to golf. Without even realizing it, over time, we can get so engrossed in the sport that we start neglecting other areas of our lives.
The time spent on your hobby can increase over time, and you might not realize that you’ve become dependent on the benefits you derive from your hobby.
You love golfing, and you’re probably playing in leagues, improving your skills, and devoting your time to your club’s events and tournaments. However, just like games of golf themselves, all this improvement can take up a lot of your time.
So, it’s unsurprising that our most significant relationships with our spouse or significant other can be negatively impacted by too much time away if we don’t give them the time they deserve.
The Impact of a Golfing Addiction on Your Spouse
Your spouse might drop you hints or argue with you about their grievances and disappointments that you’re not giving them enough time. They could feel neglected, lonely, or overburdened with household chores.
If you have children, your significant other may complain that they don’t see you often enough and you don’t do your share of the family and household responsibilities.
While this can get frustrating, you may want to think about whether you spend too much time on the course at the expense of your family. It is understandable if a spouse is upset with her husband if his golfing interferes with his relationship with his family.
For instance, if a husband is golfing every weekend, it may impact his marriage. For most married people with children, the weekend is family time, when the couple is off work and free to spend quality time with each other and their children.
If you’re spending every weekend away at a golf course, your wife may feel neglected. She may become resentful if you’re away every weekend or if you play almost every day for hours, leaving her alone.
Did you know that there is even a whole Facebook page dedicated to wives whose husbands are obsessed with golf? The Golf Widow Club has over 2,000 followers! So, if your husband is a golf addict, you are not alone!
There are many stories online about frustrated wives who are angry at their husbands for dedicating too much time golfing. This can even lead to divorce, with one wife complaining that, while they agreed on three days a week playing golf, her husband still plays hours a day.
You don’t want your wife to think that you love golf more than her! Is your love of the game more important?
Negotiate With Your Spouse
How many holes do you play per week? How many hours and days do you golf every week? If you’re in a competitive league or practicing for regular events, you’ll need to devote enough time to practice while still spending quality time with your partner.
It’s best to sit down with your spouse and discuss an amount of time that suits you both. Depending on your circumstances, you should mutually agree upon how many hours a week should be spent golfing.
Alternatively, you could decide together how much time you will devote to one another, your family, and your household duties. Resentments can bubble up if your spouse feels they’re being asked to do too much on their own without their partner’s help.
Or they could feel lonely and wish to spend more time together. Here are some factors to consider when discussing this together:
- Childcare and spending time with family. If you have children, your spouse may need your help looking after the kids.
- Your share of household duties. Often, women are the primary caretakers and do most domestic chores. Your wife may feel resentful if you don’t do your part.
- How much time you currently spend golfing. If you’re at the course nearly every day, spending hours at a time away from home, you’ll need to scale down your time golfing.
- What level you practice at and any upcoming tournaments, competitions, or events coming up. It could benefit you all to plan out in advance when you’ll need to be practicing for forthcoming events and negotiate a schedule that covers both family time and golf time.
- How many hours you want to spend together. With or without children, you need to spend enough quality time with your spouse so they don’t feel lonely or unimportant. Otherwise, they are at risk of getting bitter over the long term.
By discussing things and agreeing on a schedule, you can make sure both your game and your wife get the attention they deserve. If you mutually decide on a plan, there’ll be less bitterness and resentment in the future. But you must remember to stick to it!
Why Golfers Love to Golf So Much
According to the National Golfer Club, there are so many reasons why golfers love the sport. Whether you play recreationally or on a competitive level, there are many great benefits to playing golf. Golf can even be addictive due to its copious health and social advantages.
Exercise and Mental Health Benefits
Being outdoors, getting some exercise, and socializing with fellow golf experts can boost your feelings of well-being. (Another great aspect is you can keep playing through a global pandemic!) Spending time with your friends in the sun does wonders for your mental health.
Feeling of Accomplishment
You love the feeling of achievement when you get your swing just right and land that ace. Since it takes a lot of trial and error and practice to reach your peak potential, you may devote an increasing amount of time to the sport.
The Beauty of the Golf Course
Unlike indoor sports courts and arenas, golf courses are beautiful, wide, open, natural spaces. Not only do you have plenty of room, but when playing a sport like golf, you’re not pressured to make hasty choices like in many other sports. Golf can be relaxing and friendly for all ages.
The Chance To Socialize With Other Enthusiasts
As with many sports and other hobbies, you feel a sense of camaraderie and belonging when you spend time doing what you love. Many corporate executives bond and strengthen their relationships over rounds of golf.
When considering these benefits, ask yourself if there’s a way you can achieve the same results while also spending time with your partner. You could also get creative and practice at home.
For instance, you could purchase this PGM Golf Net (available on Amazon.com) to practice your chipping and aim from the comfort of your home. The 4-piece gold net bundle comes with balls, a target, and a carry bag.
Looking for another way to golf at home? You could also try this WellPut High-Speed Training Mat (available on Amazon.com). This professional mat will help you improve your putting skills while staying at home with your spouse.
To reach their potential, a golfer may end up dedicating many hours to the sport. Unfortunately, all these hours away from a spouse can leave their significant other feeling neglected, resentful, or lonely.
If all your weekends are spent away at the golf course, or you spend virtually every day playing for hours, that is probably too much golf for your marriage. If this is the case, you should mutually agree upon how much time to spend together and on the sport.